Saturday, February 18, 2006

DR. OMED’S SHORT FORM SERMONETTE

DO WE LIVE IN THE SHORT ATTENTION SPAN UNIVERSE?

Did you know, if your attention span was shorter than the Planck time, roughly equal to 1x10 to the -43 seconds, the smallest measurement of time with any meaning in our universe (the time it takes a photon the travel the Planck length, the smallest measurable unit of length in our universe, roughly equal to 1.6x10 to the -35 meters…lost you already, huh?) Anyway, if your attention span was shorter than the Planck time, you would disappear into a self-created black hole.

Trust me. This occurs when the neurons of your brain, due to a violation of the Pauli Exclusion Principle, begin absorbing high energy addion particles (an addion is the fundamental quantum of distraction); when the wavelength of addion irradiation becomes shorter than the Planck length, your brain collapses past its Schwartzchild radius into a quantum black hole, and takes the rest of you with it down the wormhole, which is so improbable that it promptly evaporates. Essentially, you shrink wrap yourself into non-existence—at least, in this universe. Talk about collapsing the wave form.

Is that why we’re here? Is this the short attention span universe? Did we, as allegedly sentient beings, so abuse our intelligence that we developed attention spans shorter than the fundamental quantum of time in our home universe, and thus suck ourselves down the rabbit hole into this universe? It would explain a lot of things, you have to admit.

What was I saying just then?

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